Undoubtedly, many of our kids who are born and raised outside of Samoa face a real dilemma.
On the one hand, they have it easy. Real easy in a lot of ways. After all, Samoan kids growing up in America (like mine for example) enjoy the kind of life that those who are growing up in Samoa can only dream of. Many of our kids have no clue about the hardships that the kids in Samoa face, that we faced when we were growing up. Some would say that our American born kids have it made and in a lot of ways, that sentiment would be absolutely correct.
Yet, in many other ways, they also have it a lot harder than those of us who grew up or are growing up in Samoa. Our kids are expected to walk a fine line between who they are as Americans and who we expect them to be as Samoans. Those of us who grew up in Samoa never had to face such a dilemma. Samoa and Samoan culture was all we knew so we weren’t torn between two conflcting and competing cultures.
Speaking as a parent, I expect my sons to take pride in the fact that they are Americans. Because they are Americans, I expect them to contribute to their community and to their country, to be grateful that they are citizens of this great country. I also expect them to take advantage of every opportunity that is here for them. I tell them that there is no reason why they can’t be whatever it is that they dream of becoming when they grow up. I fully believe that as their mother and I think I’ve drilled that into them enough times for them to believe it too. This dream, the American dream, is one of the best things about America and one of the things that I love about it the most.
However, I also expect my sons to not be so American that they forget that they are also Samoan. I expect them to embrace and rejoice in the fact that they are citizens of this great country but I also expect them to remember and live their Samoan culture. Is this practical? Is it asking too much? I suppose what I really want is for my sons to take the best from both. This sounds so easy to me but I know that to a teenager, that fine line isn’t always so obvious, it isn’t so apparent in their minds.
I think that sometimes this identity struggle is a lot harder on our youth than we imagine. Perhaps, this struggle and the confusion that comes with it is one of the reasons why some of our youth make the poor choices that they make. They see and hear one thing at home yet the world outside as they know it is completely different. How can we as parents, as a Samoan community help them?
Filed under: Education, Family Life | Tagged: Education, fa'a Samoa, identity, samoan youth
Like yourself, my mom came to America for Am.Samoa when she was young for better education, in sense a better life for not only herself but for me I guess. Throughout my whole life I’ve been brought up on American Values, as well as our Samoan ways. I didn’t really find that fine line between the two cultures till probably middle school year, when you really start noticing ethnic differences among yourself and other people. I find the balancing of the two, American and Samoan cultures is hard. Since I don’t want to label myself as a American, cuz’ it’s too general and it is much easier to say that I’m Samoan, rather than American-Samoan. You get what I mean?
As for kids on the islands feeling like America is the place to be. In some ways, being raised here in the states, I feel a loss of my cultural identity at times. Like I really only get the sense of my culture when I’m around family (the samoan side), at church (samoan church), or when I follow up on the News stories (samoan ones). Sometimes I feel I want to go back to the islands just so I can get a better understanding of my own identity. But also, I always felt this connection, you could call it a spiritual connection more or less, but I always loved being next to the sea and ocean. Strange as it sounds, but I always felt a sense of peace when in Am.Samoa and near the ocean. Though I haven’t been their for some time now, hopefully plan on going their 2010 after I’m done with school.
Nice topic though, I don’t really have a good answer to your question. Other than just being supportive of your kids, and that their will be times when they start to question their beliefs, cultural identities, etc.. Just listen is all I can say I guess. I’m not one to vent, but just listening I think can help.
joda
ive actually thought about this a bit because im an american dating a samoan (native) and when i was there i didnt realize how my own culture has shaped my way of thinking. it never occurred to me that being american has shaped the way ive seen things until i actually left and met another culture.
Every culture has its god given qualities, things to really value and rejoice over, and things that are not ‘godly’ or sometimes, even oppressive.
the american dream- we really are the land of freedom, no one cares what religion you are, age does not define status and where else can immigrants from all parts of the world come and make a life for themselves? PDA is not taboo and you can wear whatever you want.
on the other hand, this freedom has really let loose to all kinds of worldly thinking where we’ve forgotten our very own families in pursuit of careers, stuck our parents in nursing homes and live in fear over how much we’ve amassed into our stock portfolios.
i admire so much the faasamoa, its a respect culture, theres structure (albeit sometimes rather stifling), in an ideal world i can see how much closer that way of living is to the days of acts where everyone had everything in common.
humility now a days is not prized- its the go getter- proactive person who rises up in the workplace. and that i guess is inherent in capitalism, making your way to the top by whatever means. but in samoa which seems to be more socialist, why try to even open up a business if all it took were a few faamolemoles? u can see the struggle even within samoa itself as westernization is really making its reach,esp in media.
well anyway, i guess that was a rant. ha at the heart of things though im not married or have kids yet, but i think its the shaping of children with character, taking all the good parts of each culture to raise them up, with the bible as a measuring stick hm?
I was born in Samoa (western), raised and educated in New Zealand & Australia. I left Samoa at the age of one. Growing up away from Samoa my parents always taught my brother and I the “fa’asamoa” way of life. As a child we went along with it. Until my brother and I reached our teen years our views, opinions, thoughts etc. started to change. Seeing the lives that the “palagi’s” lived it seemed less controversial in comparison to the “fa’asamoa” way of life. Its hard to live in two different cultures.
I agree with summer, it is hard living in two different cultures. But you get used to it, and learn to adjust to the differences in cultures. Just as you faced those events in your teens, so did I here in Cali. Being around so many different nationalities, really made me fell special about my own Samoan heritage. Everyone has their own unique backgrounds, just knowing this made me appreciate it my own. No matter what kind of enviornment we may be in, that will not defer my judgment as to who i am and my heritage.
joda
Talofa, I just wanted to inform you that I used some of your sayings in my blog post. If you want, you can check my post out.
Thank you everyone for your comments. It’s a tough issue and one that we see not only within our Samoan community but in other communities as well. There are some interesting discussions going on around the blogosphere about our young people, i.e those of Pacific Islander heritage that are growing up in America and other parts of the world. One of those blogs “From a Tongan Daughter” talks about HYPE – which sounds like an excellent movement aimed at addressing some of the problems that face our youth today. Check it out and help them spread the word.
I think this is really interesting, I am happy that you want your kids to have both cultures. HIgh school is tough, and it is hard on a teenager socially. I think that as they get older they will want to embrace their heritage and culture, but as teenager and trying to fit in, they will want to be like everybody else. I think that it is good that your worried about it.
very interesting blog! and i love your various topics. i could spend forever reading them. just wanted to comment that i have enjoyed your writing/thoughts. i’ll be back to read more!
manuia le po!
You raise an important point. It is difficult for first generation children raised in the United States to take what they were taught at home and somehow assimilate into American culture and social norms. It’s a situation that is often overlooked by the individuals within this generation, in this case children of immigrants. But sometimes this struggle is harshly judged by the parent generation, who did not have the same challenges their children have now. The beauty of it all is that we live in a country with amazing opportunities for growth and educational nurturing. With the cultural lens you have provided for your children, I am sure they have an advantage over others of seeing the world in a broader perspective which will enable them to accept others who are different from themselves. In my opinion, it would be a stagnant and boring world if we didn’t progress in thinking and culture. But this can still be done while tightly holding onto the reins of one’s cultural roots;)
Hello, I appreciate what your saying. I was born in the states and have always lived here. All of my uncles and aunties and my mom were born in American Samoa, Masefau to be precised. Something happened with my mom and her family because she stopped speaking to us in Samoan and telling us about our Samoan side. I am half black, samoan and tongan. It hurt me because I would have loved to learn about my Samoan side so I envy people who have that luxury you know that they know about themselves. Especially when it comes to the language. I have tried to learn on my own but it’s not the same as someone teaching me. I love my mother, god rest her soul, but as a 25 year old woman I am now trying to pick up the pieces and find myself culturally and it is hard because I have no one to guide me. I have been back to Samoa quite a few times but never long enough to get the knack of the language. I have looked for learning resources in Seattle but have not seemed to find any. If anyone has any suggestions please feel free to let me know. Thanks sorry it was so long